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(+3)

This story has really struck a chord with me ever since it came out. I just keep coming back to read through it  again and again, it gives me some much needed hope for dealing with my own trauma (nothing so grievous as what the MC goes through but trauma nonetheless) the path of healing the MC is being set on is just so very inspiring to me, a reminder that no matter how broken you are that there is always a chance to heal and move on to something better in your life.

(+5)

Daaaaaaark. Love it though. Much respect for not shying away from some very atrocious/hard themes; humanity comes in all flavors.

I Love my MC, I love that they're broken and not just magically - - fixed, despite being rescued. There's such, such Trauma there - and that mind may never be 'un-broken'. Not to mention the arms. I think that's what interests me most: Seeing how this very clearly broken child will grow up; what they will become. (You explained the 'Pain' and 'Void' cycle and its Repetition incredibly well, btw) Havard and Lexi and Ethel (I think my MC will like her most) all seem like genuinely good souls. They'll have their work cut out for them -- and it's nice seeing the frustration in wanting to help, but being unable to in their POVs; but time and them proving their words will do wonders. Very interested to see how twins interaction will go. (And if there will be romance? Because - OOF. Just: OOF.) That 'red and white stuff' highly concerned me; but I also love broken babes finding empathy in one another.

That last interlude... Of course, the 'bad people' couldn't be totally gone. Looks like there's definitely going to be -- 'something' fighting to do more Terrible things to my baby. Keeping an eye on this one~

(+5)

That's really interesting, I'm so exited to see how it will develop, the growing of the kids and everything else. True masterpiece being made here❤️ can't wait for the next update

(+5)

Absolutely amazing, the customization iz INSANE it's so detailed and well-written. The potential's crazy I absolutely cannot wait for more<33333

(+4)

one of the best twine games I've ever played, it's amazing, five stars for plot and choices!

(+5)

this is hands down my favorite twine game i've played so far. everything is so well thought out and the choices you make actually get brought up later and it feels much more like you're your own person and not just a customizable character with a preset personality. that, and as someone with childhood trauma this feels surprisingly healing. big thank you so far and please update i will love you forever fr

(1 edit) (+5)

Time to share my opinion to the wonder internet :D Honestly, I LOVE the story so far, at first I kinda thought the prologue and interludes went on a bit too long since you don't get to do anything in them, but looking back on it I definitely see how it's needed for exposition haha, anytime it's brought up it hits MUCH harder than it would have if it hadn't gone into detail.

And chapter two made UP for it, the customization is probably one of the best I've seen in ANY cyoa game ever and I LOVE how it keeps getting brought up. I absolutely HATE how in most games you get to create a whole character and then proceed to only hear it brought up in a summery of your characters right after you create your character, it's AWFUL ;-; and this one doesn't do that, so thank you :D

But yeah, can't wait to meet the twins, I actually love their personalities lol, sorry for the rant, 10/10, will play when chapter 3 comes out :]

(+1)

Got this error when I decided not to choose any special features for the character.

Thank you! I will fix that when I have the time. 

(+1)

I had my character not remember his name and then question why having name was important, but then allow Havard to name them. When Havard is talking to Lexia in her interlude, he says that my character has no name, but then starts using the chosen name as well as Lexia, even though they've already talked about having no name to refer to him as.

Also in that same interaction, just after that point, there was some  mix-up with the pronouns I think? Havard and Lexia were using 'they/them' for a few lines in reference to my character rather than 'he/him'. A better screenshot of that will be in reply to this comment.

(+1)

Here's the mix-up of pronouns screenshot.

2nd paragraph in the screenshot: "Maybe Havard would have caught them?"

4th paragraph: "I did have to chase after them..."

(+1)

Oh, one more thing, sorry. Minor typo, should be 'damage' not 'damange'. Hopefully this all helps you. :)

(1 edit) (+1)

Thank you for all of these! I will investigate!

Edit: I think I fixed it :D New game/a save before the name choice required to fix the bug.

(+2)

i just wanted to say I'm fairly new to if, and I absolutely love this! Thank you for making it, I can't wait for more!

(+1)

there's a gramatical error on turn 84. it says "Of course, Azha would have be the one to do the asking, but she liked to include him." and is missing a "to" between have and be.

Thank you! I will fix that. 

(+1)

And in 105 it says " €capitalheshe was calming down,"

Thank you Will fix that one too. 

Hey, wanted to say I absolutely adore this story ❤️ it's.. honestly kind of healing, having experienced childhood trauma, to have a setting that's surprisingly real but still makes me feel like actually cared for?? You're doing an AMAZING job with this and I'm excited to see where it goes & support it along the way.

One small thing - I went back to go do the heritage trait scenes again, and came across an error, though I'm not sure what the cause is; the best I can guess is it might be something to do with my saves, since I was running the story as a download? I tried plugging the save into the proper browser run form and it has the same error though.

It happens with most of the beastkin heritage trait selections, including the animal horns sub-selections, animal ears, and the fluffy tails sub-selections.

(1 edit) (+1)

Hi,

I cannot seem to replicate this. However, if I understand correctly, you were using an old save?

If that is indeed the case, I would say that is the reason. You see, in the old system the variables could only have one value i.e. 

variable = "fox" which mean the preallocation would have been done as variable = "" vs. now it can have multiple values 

variable = ["fox", "wolf"] and preallocation is done as variable = [].

I think this is the cause of the error. It should work fine with a new save, in an old save there is a disconnect between the preallocations of the variable.

Sorry for the inconvenience! Updates tend to break old saves (assuming you were indeed using an old save). 

Edit: And thank you! 

(+1)

Yes, I was using an old save - I suppose now I have even more reason to read this beautiful story again ^^

(+1)

The elf ears count as two heritage traits, I believe that may be a bug in the programming? I chose fluffy tail, then fluffy ears, then the dragon eyes, then went to look at the pointed elf ears and it gave me this when I chose them.

(+1)

This is another screenshot that shows exactly that it's the elf ears that counts as two, since it's listed twice. And I only clicked on them the one time.

(+1)

Thank you! That was a bug I accidentally created earlier today while fixing another bug :D Forgot to delete the testing code! 

Should be fixed now!

(+1)

Just curious, will my MC be able to romance one of the twins or is this story more plot focused.  Btw I haven't checked out the new heritage features but I have played this once before and I really love your writing! Just wanted to let you know how appreciated this story is! <3

Thank you! That is eventually the plan, but it is a long way before we get there :D  

(1 edit) (+1)

Question: my mc broke their hand, but Havard never mentions that to Lexia, but does mention everything else over pin. Is this deliberate has he decided to tell Lexia in a more one on one controlled environment? Also I believe Havard splints the hand, but it’s not mentioned in any other instance, doesn’t come up or affect the hand in any of the following scenes (there are several grabbing attempts later, horns, the eating scene, so I guess is it the wrist that got splinted or the hand), and I was wondering if that was also deliberate?

edit: I got so focused on my question, I forgot to mention that I like this game a lot, and am looking forward to being the weirdest friend the twins have 💛

(2 edits) (+1)

Hi, Havard not disclosing any details about MC's injuries to Lexia was purposeful, though he should have told Lexia MC was hurt in a general manner. If he did not, then there is a bug. 

The splint thing... I forgot. I will add some flavor text when I have the time :D 

Thank you! Happy to hear you like the story. 

Edit: I think there is a bug! I will try to fix it. 

Edit 2: I think it works now :D At least it did the one time I tested it. 

(+4)

yall don’t get how obsessed I am w this the story is amazing

(+1)

There are some typos and missing letters that I spot while replaying the game. All of them are on the disclaimer:




(+1)

Thanks! I think I wrote this bit directly into twine so no wonder so many typos there :D 

I can't update the demo right now, in the middle of a coding thing that needs to be finished first, but I have fixed these!

(+1)

There is a very minor typo on the home page in the premise section that reads "Can survive the cruel word of Wocdes?". Pretty sure that a "you" is missing.

(+1)

Thank you. The missing word has been added :D 

(1 edit) (+1)

You're welcome! ^^

(+2)

this world and story your crafting here has inspired my creativity like nothing has in years. To the point where I'm trying to teach myself how to draw again solely  so I can draw all the vivid pictures you have painted in my mind. I really hope I can do them all justice one day!

(+1)

Wow! That is some high praise, and I am flattered and honored! And incredibly happy that you have found the story so far inspiring. 

Thank you.  Best of luck with your artistic endeavors, and if you ever feel comfortable sharing, please do so. But absolutely no pressure to do so.

(+1)

I sure will! might take a little while tho lol I'm still in the early stages of learning

Awesome! Thank you and no hurry. 

(+1)

Are there any aquatic features to choose from in the Heritage? I really like the idea of a fish tail or face fins!!!

This was asked on tumblr (might have been you), but it is stuck in the queue :D

I will copy what I wrote there even if that has not been published: 

Now that you mention it, no there are basically no aquatic features.

There are already so many though that I will admit, I am not super enthusiastic about adding more. Already I have trouble with the ones that are in there and will probably forget to mention some in text.

Still, if enough people want some, I might be persuaded :D Though I make no promises about them not being quite ascetic only, if this is the case.

Though breathing under water..... Hmm... I will say I am not getting rid of MC's legs. But it seems I am overhauling the system anyway.... 

(+1)

On Ch 2 Pg 121 there should be a dialogue choice to ask Lexia or Harvard what "Oh, shit" means, that or an option at the start of ch 3 for what "fuck" means. Very cool story, keep it up. :)

(+1)

Thank you, and you are not wrong :D And something like that is planned. It was mentioned in one of the blog posts

(+3)

LOVE THIS OMGGGG

(+2)

this is so good omd (」°ロ°)」

(+2)

Can't wait for more!

(+5)

10/10 i loved the storyline and i loved the different characters POVS it made it seem so real and drawing me into wanting to find out what happens next 


Oh don't forget angel wings there should be a choice to be pure blood and a choice to mix other things keep up the wonderful work ^^

(+4)

Thank you, and thank you everyone else who has commented below! Glad you all had a good time! 

There are some posts on tumblr discussing the heritage features, if you are interested: for example this one mentions it briefly, this second one, and this third one.  I think two are before the demo was updated :D  

I will probably come back to it later to try again make it so that taking multiple options would be possible. The posts talk about some of the issues regarding this.  It was a lot of work for C2, and I don't immediately want to mess with it :D 

(+2)

reach out to other people with experience they would gladly help you out ^^

(+1)

I love the demo as well as your detailed writing. Look forward to the next update.

(+2)

I have loved the demo,  I'm dying of curiosity to know what's going to happen next! And your writing is really beautiful!

(+4)

I'm really loving this latest update! I'm so excited for the MC to meet the twins I have a feeling it's going to be adorably tragic which is a combo I never thought I needed to see but here we are lol

(+1)

The update was great!  So excited to see where this goes!

(2 edits) (+1)

Edit: Just finished, love it so far, can't wait for more.

Also i have a question. If i choose not to take healing potion when attempting to speak, does it lock into mute mc or can i try again some time later?


Love this! Also found another bug.


Save:
https://gofile.io/d/8V6DG2

Missing letter


Save:
https://gofile.io/d/RX1YNc
(+1)

Thank you! Should be both fixed now :D 

As for being mute, I plan to offer an alternative magical communicator to a MC that chooses not to talk. It is not all locked in stone though, there will probably at least be a chance to try and speak again , once they are a bit older. Whatever it succeeds is another thing :D This was asked recently on tumblr where I listed a bit more detail. 

(+1)

Found a broken variable


Save:
https://gofile.io/d/XFC4ju
(+1)

Thank you! Should be fixed now. 

(+1)

love it so much so far! Please don’t give up

Thank you. Not planning to :D It just takes time to work on.

(+2)

I loved this so much!  I cannot wait for more of the story!

(+2)

PLS I NEED MORE. I want MC to meet the twins so badly I read this too fast. T^T

(1 edit) (+2)

Sounds like you had a good time, I am happy :D I fear patience is needed. I have some more, a few sneaky snippets on the tumblr page can be found but it is not ready to go. Now I also feel bad about the fact that MC meeting the twins probably is not in the next chapter.....

(+1)

im literally so in love keep up the gorgeous writing!! and in comparison with alot of twine games, the descicions I made really appear often! super cool :)

(+4)

"grass was nice" Real.

(1 edit) (+3)

Hey! I really loved this! 

your writing is beautiful! And it hits hard! Cant wait for more!  will absolutely keep supporting if you keep this story going.. there are a lot of good IFs but only a few really fantastic ones and I have a really good feeling about this one! Thank you for the beautiful work and keep it up! 🤗

(+2)

Wow! Thank you so much! That is some high praise!  Please check out the tumblr if you have not already. There might be a few short snippets of Chapter 2 posted as sneak peeks :D

(+1)

I absolutely will! :)

(+2)

Hello! I love your games, and by far, this is an interesting premise and one of my favorites! I would love to see more of this, since.. This is such a bittersweet story of the MC and those around them, I really love this and wants to see more of this! Spoiler alert!


Though, I hate to bother you, but I encountered a problem. I picked the cover yourself choice, and after that are the choices whether I should peek out and leave or stay put but eventually leave. After I picked one of the choices, I wasn't able to scroll farther to read and choose the choices and also, I'm on mobile. I'm really sorry for the bother! But I'm sure it's more helpful to you if you fixed it, I am very sorry again!

(2 edits)

Hi, thank you! I am happy you like it so far! No need to be sorry for pointing out a problem you found! This is a know issue, I have listed above under "known issues" :D I have edited and updated the game. I hope it now works, but let me know if there are more problems!

(+1)

No problem! For now, I haven't encountered any so far😊

(+3)

Just finished the demo and I really enjoyed it, cannot wait for more! I especially liked reading about MC from alternate POVs, it adds a lot of impact. Keep up the great work!

(2 edits) (+2)

I'm only just at chapter one but im already crying, i love Sheo and Havard and Lexia, i can't wait to make sure my sweet baby gets all the love she needs while being completely unsure how to handle it 


Adding this while getting my name from Havard and he chose a name I legit have in my MC name list, i was meant to find this IF 😅 

Okay just finished chapter one and you're killing me here, this was so good, I'm absolutely in love

Wow, that is some very high praise! Thank you very much! Clearly Havard has some good taste in names :D 

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